OXYMORONS...

Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?    Why is the third hand on the  watch called the second hand? If a word is misspelled  in the dictionary, how would we ever know?  If Webster wrote  the first dictionary,  where did he find the words?  Why do we say something  is out of whack? What is a whack?  Why does "slow down"  and "slow up"  mean the same thing?  Why does "fat chance"  and "slim chance" mean the same thing?  Why do "tug" boats push their barges?  Why do we sing  "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there? Why are they called " stands"  when they are made for sitting?  Why is it called "after dark"  when it really is "after light"?  Doesn't "expecting the unexpected"  make the unexpected expected?  Why are a "wise man"  and a "wise guy" opposites?  Why do "overlook" and "oversee"  mean opposite things?  Why is "phonics"  not spelled the way it sounds?  If work is so terrific,  why do they have to  pay you to do it?  If all the world is a stage,  where is the audience sitting?  If love is blind,  why is lingerie so popular?  If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia,  can you read all right?  Why is bra singular and panties plural? Why do you press harder on the buttons  of a remote control when you know  the batteries are dead?    Why do we put suits  in garment bags  and garments  in a suitcase?  How come abbreviated is such a long word?  Why do we wash bath towels?  Aren't we clean  when we use them?  Why doesn't glue stick  to the inside of the bottle?  Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?   Christmas -  What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?    Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway ?   I dunno, why do we? Just wanted to share some silliness this morning.  Makes sense to me!  Have a FUNNY FRIDAY (O:    FYI this was copied from an email ...