LOVEABLE QUIRKY PEEPS

6/19/10

CHANGE in a BOTTLE...CENTUS #7





I'm participating in Saturday Centus,
hosted by JENNY MATLOCK
Visit her to see how others formed a short story from this weeks prompt.



This week I'm collaborating with my good friend PJ
 SCENES FROM THE BACKS OF MY EYELIDS

to create what we like to think of as a rolling work, done 
in multiple chapters. The prompt in each chapter is blue:




CHAPTER ONE (PJ)

Briiiiiiiiiiiii-annnnnnnn! Brian, where the heck have you gone to, boy? And where the dickens is your good for nuthin’ father? I swear on all that’s holy, if I find him sitting around reading the newspaper and drinkin’ coffee when there’s all manner of things that need doin’, why, I don’t know what I’ll do! That lawn ain’t gonna mow itself! And he’s been promising to paint the front hall for a dog’s age! Oh, and the two of you need to make a run to the dump. Briiiiiiiiii-annnnnn! Get a move on and help me find your father! Briiiiiiiiiii-annnnnnnnnnnnnnn! Now!

It was Father’s Day, 1984 when I heard that voice in the hallway…



CHAPTER TWO (Vicki)

It was Father’s Day, 1984 when I heard that voice in the hallway…


STOP YELLIN AT THE BOY WOMAN!

Good for nuthin huh, well if there's anything not worth a piddle around here it's you and yer highfalutin ways. You sashay around here tellin us do this, do that.

The good Lord knows you already keep me busier 'en a one legged man in a butt kickin contest! If I wanna sit and drink coffee all day, that's what I'm gonna do!

You want that dang lawn mowed and that hall painted, DO IT YERSELF!

And YOU run to the dump. It might help get rid of all that baggage yer packin around..


CHAPTER THREE (PJ)

Brian, now wide awake, grabbed two fistfuls of his short hair and then slapped his hands over his ears. “Holy Mary, Mother of God,” he said with a groan.
“Maybe if I go to the dump, he’ll mow the lawn. Maybe if he mows the lawn, she’ll quiet down. Maybe, when I look back on today, I won’t be thinking, It was Father’s Day, 1984 when I heard that voice in the hallway…that voice that preceded the Red Neck War where my parents pecked each other to death. Or maybe I should just leave the gun cabinet door open…” He chuckled at the notion, sighed and rose to face the morning head on.



10 comments:

cj Schlottman said...

How clever of the two of you! I love this idea of a continuum. And the voices, the accents, the syntax! Are yawl from the South?

Tracy said...

good one loving it is there more

Cheryl said...

This is funnier'n hell. Nice going with chapter 2.

PⒿ @ $ € € ₦$ ₣®0₥... said...

I laughed and laughed, Jake! This is great!

Sue said...

You and PJ make a great tag team. Love it!

=)

Kat said...

You two make such a terrific writing team! Your stories meld together seamlessly. Can't wait to read the next chapter. Kathy

Viki said...

You two crack me up with the phrases your using. I can't wait to see where this goes. Good job.

Christy said...

How fabulously fun!!! Great job!

Tgoette said...

Well done as usual! I loved the voices...it felt like I opened my window into a trailer park! LOL!

Jenny said...

This dialogue was awesome. I could see the guy in his stained white t-shirt with his hairy gut hanging out. Really, really cool direction.