WHERE DO I START....

I've been going over in my mind how to do this post...what to say, what to keep inside. And I'm the kind of writer that gets an idea of what I want to say, then end up going in a different direction once I start. I've been a little mysterious about it too. Sorry...

I'll just start sharing the thoughts in my mind right now and we'll see what comes of it.
This is about my first daughter and second child, Lori Ann. She was so tiny as a baby...


Remember the first 'disposable' diapers? They came in small, medium and large. At one year old, she still used the small ones. Tiny and petite in size but just the opposite in personality! Her world was HUGE and so full of prospects. Stubborn yet sweet. Head strong and insightful.

And I could never keep a secret around her. Sometimes I'd make plans to take the kids somewhere special for the day and not tell anyone! But as soon as we were in the car and pulling out of the driveway, Lori would say where we were going. Very uncanny sometimes...

I'll tell a little more about her early years for a minute. She started sucking her thumb and my Mom said she shouldn't because it would make her teeth poke out. So she brought me a bottle of hot pepper sauce and put some on her thumb. Lori stuck it in her mouth., looked at me and her grandma, sucked harder then stuck it out for more hot sauce! She was 9 months old.

Sometimes she would just start crying like babies do. I'd make sure nothing was causing the crying, and there wasn't, but she would continue for a few minutes then pass out! The first time it scared me something awful! I called the doctor and he said to just put her down somewhere safe, sit on the other side of the room and wait...she'd come out of it. He said she was looking for attention. I had to shake my head at that, she got plenty of it! But she continued to do this until she was about 2.

Yet other times, she was the giggly little girl who loved to hug anyone!

And very intelligent. She read sooner than anyone else her age, loved to draw, and when she did it was very detailed. Her teacher sent a picture home with a note that she was so impressed. Lori had drawn a picture of her teacher with every little detail she saw. Right down to the earrings, her rings, and her hair bows..

Not sure you can read it...pretty old piece of paper. But you'll get the idea. She was in  first grade then and such a silly one..

Yet there were times when she would disappear somewhere... actually going out and be gone almost all day. We lived in a small town where everyone knew everyone and their kids. But sometimes I had to send her big brother out to look for her, times were different then.  Or she would just mentally be gone somewhere. We all do that sometimes I think, but this was different...

She was a tomboy too and could hang out with the boys.

And she was on the Yearbook Staff in grade school, being the 'Artist'.

That's her on the bottom right..the tiny one...

But I was always getting letters from teachers how she wasn't using her time and not doing the work. And she'd get in trouble...fighting, leaving the room and not coming back, not coming home after school. Yet she was so funny and everyone liked her.

At home, she would be the sweet daughter at times and then do something so out of the norm. And the older she got, the more manipulative she became. I'm sorry that I keep going on about things. It's just hard to explain how she was. And if I make it sound like she was all bad, that's not the case.

But life with Lori was becoming difficult...for everyone. Money started disappearing from my purse and anywhere else it had been put away. Treasured things got broken or taken. And when confronted about it, she always blamed someone else. Sometimes a girl I didn't even know! Other times, her older brother. He was so frustrated one time when I confronted him about some missing money, he looked at me in disgust and said

"Mom, you don't know how she really is"

Ok, this is more detail than I thought I'd get into. But it's the only way I know how to set the stage for the rest of the story...

But it's late so this will have to be continued.

And it will be.........