How about some Turkey Day giggles anyway !
And who could start this off any better than Maxine...
Here's one to try....
A man in Florida, in his 80s, calls his son in New York one November day.
The father says to the son, “I hate to tell you, but we’ve got some troubles here in the house. Your mother and I can’t stand each other anymore, and we’re getting a divorce. I’ve had it! I want to live out the rest of my years in peace. I’m telling you now, so you and your sister shouldn’t go into shock later when I move out.”
He hangs up, and the son immediately calls his sister in the Hamptons and tells her the news.
The sister says, “I’ll handle this.”
She calls Florida and says to her father, “Don’t do ANYTHING till we get there! We’ll be there Wednesday night.”
The father agrees, “All right.”
The old man hangs up the phone and hollers to his wife, “Okay, they’re coming for Thanksgiving. Now, what are we going to tell them for Christmas?”
And this one....
A few days before Thanksgiving, a man gets a talking parrot from his friend. He takes the parrot home and puts it in his living room.
But every time the man goes near the living room, he hears the parrot shouting insults at him. In desperation, he puts the parrot in the freezer.
After a few minutes, the insults stop. Thinking he might have killed the parrot, he takes it out of the freezer. The parrot is still alive, but it is shivering.
It stammers, "I'm s-sorry for b-b-being s-so rude. P-p-please forgive m-me."
So the man forgives him. After a while the parrot asks, "What exactly did the turkey do?"
How 'bout a few more...
Ok, here's another one.
- Go buy a turkey
- Take a drink of whiskey
- Put turkey in the oven
- Take another 2 drinks of whiskey
- Set the degree at 375 ovens
- Take 3 more whiskyes of drink
- Turk the bastey
- Whiskey another bottle of get
- Ponder the meat thermometer
- Glass yourself a pour of whiskey
- Bake the whiskey for 4 hours
- Take the oven out of the turkey
- Floor the turkey up off of the pick
- Turk the carvey
- Get yourself another scottle of botch
- Tet the sable and pour yourself a glass of turkey
- Bless the dinner and pass out
This ones just for all you Pumpkin Pie lovers.
Show's ya where they really come from.....hehe
Oh oh.....I know THAT look.
But first, something fun to share with all of ya....
May your stuffing be tasty
May your turkey plump,
May your potatoes and gravy
Have never a lump.
May your yams be delicious
And your pies take the prize,
And may your Thanksgiving dinner
Stay off your thighs!
Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!
And go HERE to see who else came to class anyway.....
See ya next week with some J stuff :)
Keep smilin (o: