Well, I had my Alphabapost all done and ready for this week, then heard the rumor we have the day off!  So......

How about some Turkey Day giggles anyway !

And who could start this off any better than Maxine...

Here's one to try....

A man in Florida, in his 80s, calls his son in New York one November day.

The father says to the son, “I hate to tell you, but we’ve got some troubles here in the house. Your mother and I can’t stand each other anymore, and we’re getting a divorce. I’ve had it! I want to live out the rest of my years in peace. I’m telling you now, so you and your sister shouldn’t go into shock later when I move out.”

He hangs up, and the son immediately calls his sister in the Hamptons and tells her the news.

The sister says, “I’ll handle this.”

She calls Florida and says to her father, “Don’t do ANYTHING till we get there! We’ll be there Wednesday night.”

The father agrees, “All right.”

The old man hangs up the phone and hollers to his wife, “Okay, they’re coming for Thanksgiving. Now, what are we going to tell them for Christmas?”

And this one....

A few days before Thanksgiving, a man gets a talking parrot from his friend. He takes the parrot home and puts it in his living room.

But every time the man goes near the living room, he hears the parrot shouting insults at him. In desperation, he puts the parrot in the freezer.

After a few minutes, the insults stop. Thinking he might have killed the parrot, he takes it out of the freezer. The parrot is still alive, but it is shivering.

It stammers, "I'm s-sorry for b-b-being s-so rude. P-p-please forgive m-me."

So the man forgives him. After a while the parrot asks, "What exactly did the turkey do?"

How 'bout a few more...


Ok, here's another one.

17 Ways To Cook A Turkey

  1. Go buy a turkey
  2. Take a drink of whiskey
  3. Put turkey in the oven
  4. Take another 2 drinks of whiskey
  5. Set the degree at 375 ovens
  6. Take 3 more whiskyes of drink
  7. Turk the bastey
  8. Whiskey another bottle of get
  9. Ponder the meat thermometer
  10. Glass yourself a pour of whiskey
  11. Bake the whiskey for 4 hours
  12. Take the oven out of the turkey
  13. Floor the turkey up off of the pick
  14. Turk the carvey
  15. Get yourself another scottle of botch
  16. Tet the sable and pour yourself a glass of turkey
  17. Bless the dinner and pass out

This ones just for all you Pumpkin Pie lovers.
Show's ya where they really come from.....hehe

Oh oh.....I know THAT look.

Better keep a step ahead of her :)

But first,  something fun to share with all of ya....

May your stuffing be tasty
May your turkey plump,
May your potatoes and gravy
Have never a lump.
May your yams be delicious
And your pies take the prize,
And may your Thanksgiving dinner
Stay off your thighs!

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

And go HERE to see who else came to class anyway.....

See ya next week with some J stuff :)

Keep smilin  (o:


paige said...

Well done! Thanks for making me laugh!

edenhills said...

So funny! I just laughed so hard over the pumpkin pie...Happy Thanksgiving!


Jackie said...

Lol that first joke is unfortunately what it takes for some people to visit . cute lulz .

Judie said...

I am definitely passing these stories around! Thanks for a great Thanksgiving!!

Jo said...

that was a wonderful and funny post ...loved it ... well except for the pumpkin pie cartoon .... now i'm kinda afraid of pumpkin pie ...

Betty (picture circa 1951) said...

That was a great idea. I enjoyed it. Happy Thanksgiving!

BEAR's Mom said...

they were all cute
i did see the one about the pie before
but the scarecrow stuffing was the best...well i did like Maxine's gravy

thanks for the laugh

myorii said...

Thanks for the laugh! I love this post and all the humor in it :) Oh and that pumpkin pie photo...I don't think I can ever look at pumpkin pie the same way ever again!

☆☆Mumsy said...

Delightful post, and I love all the jokes.

Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family!

Cheryl said...

I'm having so much fun this morning. This was a blast. Thanks for adding more laughs to my morning.

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours.

PⒿ @ $ € € ₦$ ₣®0₥... said...

My favorite was the blind guy amidst the mooing turkeys! Happy Thanksgiving, Jake!

Gattina said...

Hahaha ! that was a funny Thanksgiving ! I'll also try to get divorced when I need some company !

Pearl said...

Love the jokes and I can never get enough of our girl Maxine. Thanks for the nice words friend I hope you have a wonderful day. Don't eat to much! (yea right). I'm off the Mountain today and headed to my nephew's over the bridge and it's 18 out and snowing. We have 6 or 7 inches so far. Keep safe kid,Pearl

5thsister said...

I am a sucker for a fun post! Loved the funnies you shared!

Pondside said...

You are going to be in SO much trouble for that pumpkin pie photo! Watch out!

JDaniel4's Mom said...

These are such fun! I love how the parent got their children to Florida.

Hope you had a wonderful holiday!

Rocky Mountain Woman said...

OK, the blind farmer with the mooing turkeys..omg, I'll smile about that one all day..

The Cello Strings said...

love the first story, at least they come, they might not really believe it...

Thoughtful turkey cooking tips...

awesome post.
blessings fly your way.

awards/treats 4 u

Jenny said...

This was wonderful! I so enjoyed reading your adorable and funny post on this last day of the Thanksgiving weekend!

You are a nut!

And I am so thankful our paths have crossed!


Susan said...

too 2 awesome and funny...i had seen the maxine one and the whiskey one before. LOVED and seriously LOL for the parrot one. thanks for the laughs. I hope your TG was full of love and blessings!
#36 on the list