Have to share this email....

Sounds just like the mom's I grew up with :)

And the wisdom I gave to my own kids...


Wisdom from my Mother:

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
'If you're going to kill each other, do it outside.. I just finished cleaning.'

2. My mother taught me RELIGION
'You better pray this will come out of the carpet.'

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL
'If you don't straighten up, I'll knock you into the middle of next week!'

4. My mother taught me LOGIC .
' Because I'm the mom, that's why.'

5.My mother taught me MORE LOGIC
'If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me.'

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
'Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident.'

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
'Stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about.'

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
'Shut your mouth and eat your supper.'

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM
'Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!'

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA
'You'll sit there till those brussel sprouts are gone.'

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER ..
'Your room looks like a tornado went through it.'

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY
'If I told you once, I told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!'

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE

  'I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.'

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
'Stop acting like your dad!'

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
'There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do..'

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
'Just wait till your dad gets home!'

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING
'You're going to get it when you get home!'

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
'If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they're going to get stuck that way.'

19. My mother taught me ESP .
'Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you're cold?'

20. My mother taught me HUMOR .
'When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me..'

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT
'If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up.'

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
'You're just like your dad.'

My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
'Shut that door behind you. Were you born in a barn?'

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
'When you get to be my age, you'll understand.'

25. And my favorite:
My mother taught me about JUSTICE
'One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you

Carry On....


My name WAS Female, I shit you not! said...

We must be SISTERS!!!
Mom told me the same things. ;0)

Busy Bee Suz said...

My Mom too....and I say some of that too. My fave is: If you hurt yourself, you'd better not bleed on my nice floors!!!

Dazee Dreamer said...

HAHAHAHA this were awesome.

Pearl said...

And that's the truth! I now say those things to my Grandkids and we get a good giggle out of it, of course I put a few new twists to them Haha

My Grama's Soul said...

See.....I told you ....... you were an awesome mother! LOL LOL LOL


Personalized Sketches and Sentiments said...

hahaha!!! I can so relate to these words of wisdom! HILARIOUS!

Blessings & Aloha!