Just Call Me Jake: saturday silly

Showing posts with label saturday silly. Show all posts

12/31/11

A SATURDAY SILLY....

HAPPY NEW YEARS EVE!

mwahahahahahahhaahha

Carry On....

************

12/10/11

A SATURDAY SILLY....

ACHMED CHRISTMAS HUMOR
IF HE OFFENDS YOU....
ummm, Don't watch it this week:)

11/26/11

A SATURDAY SILLY....

SO, WERE YOU ONE OF THESE YESTERDAY?

AND DID YA FIND SOME GOOD DEALS?

IS IT SOMETHING YOU DO EVERY YEAR?

ME?.........NAH

I SAT IN MY WARM JAMMIES

AND WATCHED ON THE NEWS

ABOUT SOME CRAZED WOMAN

WITH A CAN OF PEPPER SPRAY.

GUESS SHE THOUGHT SHE WAS THE ONLY ONE

WHO SHOULD GET A DEAL....

WHATEVER

Carry on......

11/5/11

A SATURDAY SILLY....

FROM AN EMAIL......

STC (Senior Texting Code).

If you qualify for Senior Discounts this is
the code for you.

ATD: At The Doctor's
BFF: Best Friend Farted
BTW: Bring The Wheelchair
BYOT: Bring Your Own Teeth
CBM: Covered By Medicare
CUATSC: See You At The Senior Center
DWI: Driving While Incontinent
FWB: Friend With Beta Blockers
FWIW: Forgot Where I Was
FYI: Found Your Insulin
GGPBL: Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low!
GHA: Got Heartburn Again

HGBM: Had Good Bowel Movement
IMHO: Is My Hearing-Aid On?
LMDO: Laughing My Dentures Out
LOL: Living On Lipitor
LWO: Lawrence Welk's On
OMMR: On My Massage Recliner
OMSG: Oh My! Sorry, Gas.
ROFLCGU: Rolling On Floor Laughing Can't Get Up
SGGP: Sorry, Gotta Go Poop
TTYL: Talk To You Louder
WAITT: Who Am I Talking To?
WTFA: Wet The Furniture Again
WTP: Where's The Prunes?
WWNO: Walker Wheels Need Oil
GGLKI: Gotta Go, Laxative Kicking In
GGCO: Gotta Go, Coffee's Working
CRS: Can't Remember Shit
CSS: Can't See Shit
CHS: Can't Hear Shit

OTAF: Oops, Trusted a Fart

SEE ANYTHING YOU'LL USE?

Mwahahaaaa

Carry On :)
**********

10/29/11

On Friday, which would be yesterday, my silly friend PJ blogged one of her highly educated posts of facts. If you didn't already see it, here ya go.

Today I'm sharing a little something from it...
(oops, I copied.... gasp!!)

*Ralph Lauren's name was originally Ralph Lifshitz? You can't make this stuff up. Excuse me while I take a break to laugh like a 10-year old.*

Here's how I commented....

BUT, BUT, think of how FUN that last name would be! I mean, sometimes life-does-shitz ya know. And you'd be making a politically correct statement anytime someone asked your name. PLUS, what a fun way to make someone giggle:) Hey, maybe instead of getting re-married, I'll just go to court to have my last name changed. If nothing else, just to see the Judge smile at Vicki Jake Lifshitz....

Now I want to hear her 10 year old giggle :P

Mwahahahaaa

So, WADDAYATHINK??

Carry On :)
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10/22/11

A SATURDAY SILLY...

HAVE YA EVER

TAKEN A CLOSE LOOK

AT COUNTRY STUFF?

I MEAN, A REAL CLOSE LOOK??

MWAHAHAHAAA,

I JUST LOVE THEM RANCHERS:)

Carry On....

************

10/15/11

A SATURDAY SILLY :)

UMMMM...I THINK WE'RE IN TROUBLE.....

Carry On
*********

10/6/11

A SATURDAY SILLY...

OK, WHILE I'M GONE VISITING PJ........

Ole Fills In

A doctor in Duluth Minnesota wanted to get Off work and go hunting,

so he approached his assistant. 'Ole, I am goin' huntin' tomorrow and don't want to close the clinic. I want you to take care of the clinic and take care of all my patients.'

'Yes, sir!' answers Ole.

The doctor goes hunting and returns

The following day and asks: 'So, Ole,
How was your day?'

Ole told him that he took care of

Three patients. 'The first one had a
Headache so I gave him TYLENOL.'

'Bravo, mate, and the second one?'

Asks the doctor.
'The second one had stomach burning and I gave him MAALOX, sir,' says Ole.

'Bravo, bravo! You're good at this and what about the third one?' asks the Doctor.

'Sir, I was sitting here and suddenly the door opens and a woman enters.
Like a flame, she undresses herself,

Taking off everything including

Her panties and bra and lies

Down on the table and shouts:

HELP ME - I haven't
Seen a man in over two years!!'

'Tunderin' Lard Yeezus, Ole,

What did you do?' asks the doctor.

'I put drops in her eyes!!

And you thought I was telling a dirty joke!!

Carry On!

***********

10/1/11

A SATURDAY SILLY...

Now that was just dang FUNNY, hope you watched it...

It's Saturday...first day of October...Woot Woot!

Or as PJ would say, first day of her favorite Holiday. I told ya about her calling me in the earlyish morning hours while I was in Idaho last week. But did I tell ya why?

She says it's because she'd never called anyone in Idaho before, and it was on her bucket list.....

Did I tell ya she did the same thing to me yesterday morning...around sixish or so? Ummm, ya. And she's called Utah more than once, trust me. Always in the earlyish morning hours. She thinks just because the sun comes up bright and early in HER world, it does in mine too!! Bucket list my patoot!

Did I tell ya she's my favorite Holiday :) ?

Ok, I'm tootin her horn cause I get to go see her again. And part of the conversation yesterday, at danged early a.m. ish, was that I'd be hanging out of a second story window in her house, taking pictures of...... men.

Mwahahahahaaa! this is gonna be fun :)

So, what's something on your bucket list?

Carry On...
***********

9/24/11

A SATURDAY SILLY...

Have to share this email....

Sounds just like the mom's I grew up with :)

And the wisdom I gave to my own kids...

Mwahahahaha

Wisdom from my Mother:

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
'If you're going to kill each other, do it outside.. I just finished cleaning.'

2. My mother taught me RELIGION .
'You better pray this will come out of the carpet.'

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL
'If you don't straighten up, I'll knock you into the middle of next week!'

4. My mother taught me LOGIC .
' Because I'm the mom, that's why.'

5.My mother taught me MORE LOGIC .
'If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me.'

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
'Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident.'

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
'Stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about.'

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
'Shut your mouth and eat your supper.'

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM .
'Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!'

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA
'You'll sit there till those brussel sprouts are gone.'

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER ..
'Your room looks like a tornado went through it.'

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY
'If I told you once, I told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!'

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE
'I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.'

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
'Stop acting like your dad!'

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
'There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do..'

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
'Just wait till your dad gets home!'

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING .
'You're going to get it when you get home!'

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
'If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they're going to get stuck that way.'

19. My mother taught me ESP .
'Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you're cold?'

20. My mother taught me HUMOR .
'When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me..'

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT .
'If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up.'

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
'You're just like your dad.'

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
'Shut that door behind you. Were you born in a barn?'

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
'When you get to be my age, you'll understand.'

25. And my favorite:
My mother taught me about JUSTICE
'One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you '

Carry On....
**********

9/17/11

A SATURDAY SILLY :)

This guy makes me want to go on a Vegas road trip!

Carry On.....
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9/10/11

A SATURDAY SILLY :)

Busy trying to get a new computer up and running...that was the easy part:) Now if I can figure out how to get things from the old to the new....without kidnapping a computer geek....

Have a great weekend:)

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